When you and your friend are both in the "off-limits" camp, it's great -- it simply doesn't happen, because you both agree it's not a good move. However, when you're in different camps, and a friend dates your ex or vice versathis can lead to big trouble -- anything from awkward social interactions to permanent rifts within groups of friends.
While many would say the ideal solution is to avoid run-ins completely, in many cases it's just not possible, especially when there are overlapping friends, locations, and events. If you find yourself in this situation, you need to be prepared. Of course, there are varying degrees of gravity -- a former fling may be less of a big deal than a serious relationship, and if we're talking about a recent ex-husband or ex-wife and your friend, well, then, we'll go out on a limb and say that perhaps you should reconsider your friendship unless there is an extremely unique circumstance.
If you've found yourself facing this situation as the person whose friend and ex are now dating, here are a few tips on how to handle yourself with style and grace: Have a support system handy: It's nice to ask one or two close friends to help you out. They can keep you posted on what they see and hear about this new relationship, as it's never fun to be the last to know. Keeping your thoughts limited to this tightly knit circle will also prevent you from blabbering your opinion about the new couple to everyone.
Don't what if your best friend starts dating your ex boyfriend with fake happiness: You don't have to pretend funny daughter dating pics like what's happening, so don't overdo it with sappy sweet congrats and good wishes If you get caught in a confrontation, just smile, have a pre-planned friendly sentence or two to recite, keep it short and sweet, and move on.
You probably don't want to get any closer to the action than you need to, so when you're stuck in the same social scene, take the seat at the opposite end of the table, or strike up a with the cute guy or girl at the other end of the bar. Until you're comfortable with the situation, it's best to avoid confrontation -- it can only make you upset and say or do something you may regret. If you're the person dating your friend's ex, you've got a much harder job.
Talk to your friend: Plus, when the relationship ends, the only thing people will remember is how you reacted. DO NOT make a scene and get into a girl fight with the girl. It's unproductive, psychotic and immature. You don't' have to be overly friendly to your ex and your friend. In fact, if you are a little icy that's okay. Just don't go postal. Call your REAL girlfriends.
The fact that this girl did this to you is probably making you feel insecure about girl friendships. So, call your girls up! Call the ones you know are your true friends. They will support you more than you could have possibly imagined. They will assure you that they are your best friends and that you what if your best friend starts dating your ex boyfriend loved.
The relationship probably won't last. What are the chances they are going to end up happily ever after? Especially if he or she is newly separated. If it does, you can handle it because of tip 8. Focus on your own life. It doesn't matter what HE is doing or what SHE is doing. The person is obviously is a bad friend and you are getting a divorce, regardless of him or her, right?
So, let them have their what if your best friend starts dating your ex boyfriend and concentrate on making your own life better. Focus on your kids, your career, and your love life, if you choose. A good friend used to say to me, "You're on your own road. Confront your friend and apologize. Say something like, "This isn't personal.
We really like each other. I hope you understand that we don't want to hurt you. I'm so so sorry. It's an unselfish act. If she goes off on you, at least you can say you handled it the best way you could have. Jackie Pilossoph is the author of the blog, Divorced Girl Smiling. She is also the author of her new divorce novel with the same name, as well as her other divorce novel, FREE GIFT WITH PURCHASE.
Pilossoph is a weekly business features reporter and columnist for Sun-Times Media. She lives in Chicago with her two kids. Oh, and she's divorced!
Why Dating Your Best Friend's Ex is Wrong
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Steps Dealing with your feelings 1 Consider why this person is your ex. It would be wonderful if every breakup came with clarity that you no what if your best friend starts dating your ex boyfriend have feelings. However, down or irritable around her and your ex, holding a grudge against them isn't going to solve anything, there is a possibility of it all ending in marriage in which case? However, holding a grudge against them isn't going to solve anything, until you are ready to talk or say something positive to both of them. If you cannot come to this conclusion, you might also wish to make it clear where you draw the line. Keep your friend close. If you don't have feelings left for your ex, you actually bikram yoga dating site a better space for them to work out whether or not they like each other beyond having your antagonism as a common cause. There is every reason for you to be getting on with your own life. The important thing to accept is that you cannot make someone continue to care for you in an intimate way if they have made a decision to stop. Understand that you cannot control your friend's feelings and your ex's. It's a tough ask but it's worth it to know that you're not forcing their hand in any way. The incompatibility is in the way of the two of you staying a couple, you're hurting yourself and delaying the healing process. By keeping your distance, you're hurting yourself and delaying the healing process. PARAGRAPH .